The Lucky Donut

This just in on Messenger earlier today:

[20:43] Rich: hi chris!
[20:43] Rich: we are thinking of going to vegas next week
[20:43] Rich: – just wondered if you would have any hotel reccommendations etc?

I really hate the fact that anybody I’ve ever spoken to can see whether I’m actually available or not from my status on messenger.

Gone to make a coffee?  After a couple of minutes it automatically tells the world "brb", like it knows I haven’t gone far.

Stay away from the keyboard for ten minutes or more though and it marks you up as a guilty "away".  In my case it may as well say "probably gone for a sneaky game of Rock Band".

How am I supposed to avoid people effectively if "online" actually means "he’s definitely at his desk"! 🙂

So I’ve turned that feature off.  It looks like I’m online and active 24/7 and I do get quite a few messages while I’m nowhere nearby to reply to them as a result.

I missed this one while I was busy earning five gold stars playing Roxanne on expert level drums. 8)

However, I caught up with Rich later this evening and got the full story.

He knows a man who knows a man who can get discounted flights with Virgin Atlantic, so if that comes off he and his better half are going to put the baby into kennels for a few days so they can take a very short trip to Sin City.

Hey, it’s better than bringing the kid with you.  Don’t get me started on that.

Rich didn’t realise I’d be there at the same time.  Nor did he realise that he’d been checking out prices for a three nights hotel stay that was identical to a comp I’d already booked!

[22:01] Rich: one called flamingo looked ok, plus a big tower thingy was cheap

Well, forget about the Stratosphere.  I think Flamingo is a great location for a first trip though, it’s right in the heart of the action, a classic hotel that’s been kept up to date and it has awesome neon out front.

Summerfest (and Winterfest) should be the one comp that Harrah’s won’t take away from me – it’s a listed perk for all players Platinum or higher.  You get 3 nights accomodation (their choice of dates, your choice of hotel) and entry into some kind of tournament.

In this case, my package is staying at Flamingo and playing a Blackjack tournament at Rio.  Beyond that I really don’t know the details except it’s costing me nothing and there are cash prizes.

Hence why I’d already booked a free room I didn’t need, just so I could register for the tournament.

[22:03] Rich: what? you’re joking? you already have a room booked there?!
[22:03] Rich: what did you pay?

He’ll learn.

It’s just a bizarre coincidence that these dates matched so perfectly.  I’d been half-jokingly toying with the idea of trying to sell some room comps on ebay (last count: 19 nights during my trip), but I don’t particularly like the idea of having to trust a complete stranger to not trash the room.

For Rich, I’ll check in and leave my credit card on file, then just go up to the room and chain the minibar shut before handing over the keys… 🙂

In return, all I want is to be able to borrow some identities.  Not much to ask, is it?

New players get the easiest slot club offers, so it’s going to be a case of picking out the best deals then having Claire and me pile through as much action as possible in order to have Rich and Sarah qualify for all that lovely free food and whatnot.

They can watch the pirate battle and dancing fountains while we play, then later we all share in the spoils.

I know for certain that the signup offer at Wynn will be a can’t-miss deal.  It doesn’t take long – and only a theoretical loss of $6.75 – to earn two buffet comps worth about $70.

There’s also a rebate of your first $100 in losses for new Harrah’s Total Rewards players, although I think it’s a cheque in the mail that you can only redeem on your next trip to a casino, so that might not be quite as useful.

But sadly the superb sun shield, gas card and free play offer at Four Queens didn’t last the distance.  The offer is still good until the end of August, but all the video poker machines that would have let you max out the offer in a couple of hours have been downgraded.  You can still get good value, but it will take some marathon sessions to get there and probably isn’t the kind of thing we can burn through quickly enough during their three day trip.

Some recon work will definitely be required shortly after I land.

T-4 btw.

It’s even worse than I first thought.  Harrah’s really don’t like me any more.

My latest batch of casino mail just arrived.  I get three weeks worth forwarded at a time and the only free room offer this time was for a mid-week stay.

As I’ve been on the mailing list for a weekend promotion of some sort for every single weekend for the last three months, this pretty much spells out how worthless I am to Harrah’s as a player.

Which, of course, is completely true, I just didn’t expect them to realise quite so quickly.

I’ll paraphrase this excellently targetted mailer: "Dear mid-thirties male player, why not join us for a bingo tournament".

I did try playing bingo in Las Vegas once.  I wasn’t welcome, on account of me having both a Y chromosome and my own teeth.

Then again, I probably shouldn’t take too much offense at this.  At the poker tournament I played there last month about 95% of the field would never ordinarily play poker.  Unfortunately.

I also got a letter with another less-than-fabulous offer:

"Experience the jewel on the Colorado River in VIP style! August marks our 20th Anniversary and Harrah’s Laughlin is inviting you to help us celebrate with a vacation for two, including a round-trip charter flight and deluxe accomodations"

Sounds OK so far, but …

"Starting at just $149".

Right…

"Price based on double occupancy (additional $50 charge for single occupancy)"

and to top it all off…

"While you’re here, be sure to check out legendary performer Earl Turner in the Fiesta Showroom August 16-28.  Tickets start at just $17.95 and are on sale now at our box office."

So, they’re inviting me to fly, stay and see a show – and pay for it all myself.

The bloody cheek!

I’ve had flight offers in the past for charter jets departing various random locations from coast to coast.  Because they think I live in Southern California (my mailbox address is in Huntington Beach) the flight is from Long Beach only – hardly a cross-country trek.

I’ve been able to book up to 5 consecutive comped nights at the hotel through the harrahs.com web site, in addition to all those mailers with three-night stays included.  If this deal requires a surcharge for single occupancy then I’d certainly be paying something towads the room, wouldn’t I?

Some of those room offers included show tickets too.

This is definitely not a good sign.

This, however, is what a great room comp should look like:

3 nights at the Edgewater or Colorado Belle, twice a month, every month.  And $15 for showing up.  It didn’t take that much play to get on this list.

Claire also got one from River Palms for two 2-night comps with and $10 slot play and all she ever played there was enough to get a free chicken sandwich, which was ridiculously easy to earn on a positive expectation machine.

Even without any love from Harrah’s, it would actually be pretty easy to live in Laughlin completely free by hotel-hopping.  If you wanted to.

Shakin’ Stevens and Neil Diamond at Glastonbury was just the start of it.  This is the summer of old rockers, and naturally the line up of pensionable acts playing in Las Vegas during my upcoming trip is pretty impressive:

Ringo Starr, Motley Crue, Pat Benetar and Rod Stewart.

Then there’s Steely Dan, Hall and Oates, Kenny G and Liza Minelli.

OK, so that’s possibly stretching the definition of "rockers" a bit too far, but you get the point.

There’s also the Regeneration Tour, including such 80s awesomeness as ABC, Belinda Carlisle and the Human League.

And, of course, Elton John and Cher are in town too.

This is just during the four weeks I’m going to be there.  Looking ahead to the end of August, it just keeps getting better and better with Poison, Extreme, KISS, Black Crowes, Foreigner, Judas Priest and Berlin all playing Vegas before the summer is out.

Seriously, Berlin are still together?  And they have more than one song?

If only I was heading out there a few days earlier, the choice would be even more fabulous:

Boy George, Kenny Loggins and De La Soul.  Plus there’s a whopper night of 80s soft rock at Mandalay Bay with Journey, Heart and Cheap Trick all on the same bill.

Who knew that any of the above were still getting work?

It’s never too early to start scoping out the best deals in Vegas, and I do only have 19 to go now, after all.

The following promotion, which starts today at Four Queens, is well worth a mention.

"Top it Off" promotion July 1 – August 31.

Royal Players Club members who earn their first 40 points will receive a
Four Queens Sun Shield.

Members who reach 400 points will receive a $10.00 gas card and $10.00
in Free Slot Play.

Members who reach 800 points will receive an additional $10.00 gas card
and $25.00 in Free Slot Play.

Members who reach 1200 points will receive an additional $10.00 gas card and
$50.00 in Free Slot Play.

Members who reach 1600 points will receive an additional $10.00 gas card
and $75.00 in Free Slot Play.

Members who reach 2000 points will receive an additional $10.00 gas card
and $200.00 Free Slot Play

It’s not quite clear whether the word "additional" applies to both the gas card and the slot play, but even if not this is a tremendous promotion.

Worst case: with 2,000 points earned you’ll get $50 in gas, $200 free slot play and a sun shield.  If the slot play does accumulate, it’s $360 slot play in total.

I won’t attempt to put a value on the sun shield.  I’m sure it’s a high quality item, but this promotion is already good enough that we don’t have to add it into the EV calculation to make the difference between it being a winning or losing proposition.

The best video poker games at Four Queens are 10/7 Double Bonus (100.2% payback) and 9/6 Jacks or Better (99.5%) and I think I’m actually going to play this one on JOB.

With $8 coin in required for 1 point, the highest award in the promo takes $16,000 of total action which, at 99.5% payback, is an expected loss of $80.

Add on the $50 in gas cards (which are as good as real money) and a further $50 in cashback (you get $1 back for every 40 points normally from the slot club) and we’re already in profit regardless of whether the free slot play (which is almost as good as real money) adds up to $200 or $360.  It’s all gravy.

Of course I’d do a little better playing the positive Double Bonus game.  A perfect strategy would turn the $80 expected loss into a $32 theoretical win.  That strategy is relatively complex, but even playing Jacks or Better strategy on the Double Bonus machine increases the payback to 99.8% (overall $32 loss) – although it also increases the variance significantly.

However the biggest attraction of this promotion is just how quickly it should be possible to rattle through $16,000 in play on a multi-line machine JOB at the Four Queens.

They have the same 50-play machine that I used to get Total Rewards Diamond fairly painlessly, and that I hit the $10,000 jackpot on last month.  Although that will never, ever happen again.

It’s $12.50 per spin, but much lower variance than playing a single line for the same stake (if, indeed, a $2.50 coin x 5 coins per hand machine existed).  You’ll always get something back on every spin, usually a little less or a little more than the stake, with significant wins mostly coming before the draw – so you can hold the winning hand 50 times.

On past form, I’ve been able to play about 500 games per hour on this type of machine (it’s slower than a regular game because it has to draw 50 hands every time).  That’s over $6000/hour cycled which means I should be able to rack up enough slot points for the maximum bonus in about two and a half hours!

Compare that to playing on a single line quarter machine at 1000 hands per hour ($1.25 per spin) – it would take more like 12 hours of play to get there.  Even so, this would be a fairly respectable hourly rate (as much as $30/hr if the free play does accumulate, or $18/hr if not).

However being able to play at turbo speed should give a theoretical hourly rate in the region of $90-$150, depending on the actual conditions of the promotion!

Now, to be able to quit the day job all I need to do is find a couple of deals like this every day…

This summer will be our fourth spending a month in Las Vegas in a rented house.

We’ve stayed in the West, East and South sides of the Valley so I was really dreading this year’s inevitable trip to the North.

North Las Vegas scares the bejeezus out of me.  I can’t explain why, and I don’t even have any photos to try and illustrate this, but it’s like a whole other world. And it happens suddenly too. Drive just a little too far along Main Street and it’s like you stepped back 40 years – and not in a good way, like Downtown Las Vegas is meant to me.

Anyway, we’re in the East again, which worked out superbly for us last year being pretty close to the Orleans (where I spent a week playing in the Orleans Open poker tournaments) and the Palms (which is an excellent casino for video poker, albeit just about the only one that doesn’t think we’re worthy of any room offers in the mail).

This year’s home base is actually a little closer to the action too.  Streets and Trips finds 55 casinos within a 5 mile radius.  Orleans is still closest (2.0 miles away, but a 3.3 mile drive), then Palms (2.7 miles).

The quickest route to the strip is to the intersection with Tropicana Avenue (5 miles by road) which is where MGM Grand, Excalibur, New York New York and Tropicana all sit.

When traffic is good and the lights are with me, it’s going to be 10 minutes to get the car into the Tropicana valet parking, just leaving me with a choice of which footbridge to take over the road to get to the next casino.

This is what it looks like from the sky, thanks to Google Earth.

It’s second from left.  The one with the pool. 🙂

"This three bedroom and two and a half bath home sits in the beautiful and well kept grounds of the Cottages. Secured in a gated community you’ll enjoy very serene, peaceful surroundings.

Private back yard allows you to enjoy sunbathing poolside. The pool is just off the kitchen door with table and chairs for morning breakfast, lunch or diner…moonlight diners etc

The furniture, beddings and everything else are new, clean and comfortable. It’s a paradise! Bring your clothes, put your feet up and enjoy all the comforts of home."

More pics:

It looks like my honeymoon with Harrah’s is over.  Things are starting to fall back to how they were.

I just logged in to my Total Rewards account and I can hardly get a room comp at all any more.  Even at the Imperial Palace.

I shouldn’t really be too bothered about that, because the IP was a bit shit.  And I’m not usually that fussy – I’ve stayed at some the really, really cheap hotels in Las Vegas.

Casino Royale, for instance, is a complete anomoly in the middle of the Strip and I’m sure it’s tiny hotel (which is outside the back of the casino and across the parking lot) would technically be a motel if it wasn’t for one set of outer doors, but the room was comfortable enough.  There’s no bellman or room service, but there’s a coffee machine and a fridge in the room and that goes a very long way.

When I stayed at the El Cortez a few years ago, before that scary part of Downtown was lit up and filled with bars, the room felt old but in an "it’s got a certain charm" kind of way – not a "why haven’t they knocked it down yet" way.  In fact, the thought of staying in a room that needed an extra coat of paint because a previous resident had bought a bullet and rented a gun just added to the character.

On the other hand, all I can say about Imperial Palace is that it was just kind of white.  I think they were going for a sterile, institutional sort of feel – which to be fair would suit the Asian theme of the property about as well as their weekly Hawaiian Luau, the Classic American Car exhibition or having a blackjack dealer that impersonates Stevie Wonder.

The pictures on their web site are somewhat flattering, suggesting that there is actually a subtle tone of colour in the bed linen and curtains.

I don’t remember that at all – unless I really wasn’t looking hard enough, everything was just plain white.  Which, I guess, at least usually goes some way to prove that the room was clean.

As well as the plain white bedside units you can see in thie picture, my room also had a white pedestal table with white wood frame chairs and a large white entertainment unit with the TV inside.

One perk was the patio door with its own private balcony area, much better than the barred window I expected to find before I pulled back the white curtain for the first time.  From my 11th floor cell I had direct access to a 3ft x 1ft exercise yard as well as an amazing view of… other cells.  Hundreds of them.  In every direction

Even so, I’m still quite disappointed that I can’t go back again for free.

I’m writing some bi-weekly articles about poker in Las Vegas for Poker News to coincide with their World Series of Poker live coverage. 

If I actually manage to stick to the schedule while I’m off chasing the action next week, there’ll be a new one every Monday and Friday.

Here are the first three articles in the UKPN Vegas Guide:

Are You Heading to Las Vegas for the World Series of Poker?

Where to Play Cash Poker in Las Vegas

The Low Down on Low Limit

I haven’t quite figured out which tournaments I’m going to play on my next gambling trip, but I have sorted out all my accomodation – without it costing a penny.

Three nights in Laughlin, Friday to Sunday, were included with the poker tournament package, so I just needed two weekights on either side in Las Vegas.

I’ve booked Imperial Palace for my last two nights.  I was sorely tempted to try their Luv Tub room, but I’ve passed this time.  It seemed a little sad, and perhaps a little creepy, to chose a room with an oversized bathtub and mirrored ceiling when I’m travelling by myself.

IP usually shows a comp on any weeknight.  The funny thing is that the comp is for a Deluxe room (usual rate: $59) whereas the cheaper Classic and Capri rooms (usual rate: $49) are listed at full price when I’m logged in.  Are they really so bad that they wouldn’t want to let a VIP player book one by accident?

My first two nights managed to throw up a two night complimentary stay at the Rio, which is awesome.  I thought it was amazing enough that I was offered these for the very quiet time before Christmas (the listed room rate for most that period is just $70) nevermind while the World Series of Poker is in the house.

I already know I’m not going to play in any bracelet events, but living that close to the action I’ll almost certainly poke my head in and check out the side action.

So, it seems that the decision on January 1st to pump $30k through a video poker machine to get Diamond status was worth it, even if it did take a little more action in March to trigger the Las Vegas room offers.

In fact, it’s been very much worth it.  For this trip alone, those rooms would normally cost $539 ($220 for Rio, $119 for Imperial Palace and somehow a total $200 for Laughlin, which is a bit OTT when you can easily get rooms elsewhere in town for $19/night).  Of course I’d never pay that much when all I need is a place to put my head at night, but it’s definitely worth something.

Add to this the room in Laughlin in March, some bookings I’ve made for the summer in Laughlin and San Diego as well as three nights in the Flamingo (which I won’t use except to steal the soap, but the reservation qualifies me to play in a blackjack tournament) and the bargain five nights at the Rio for $50 at Christmas, and already I make that nearly $1,700 of room value.

To get there, Claire and I have gambled a fair bit to be sure.  Nearly $40,000 in total action, but with an expected loss of just $240 (and an actual win, so far, of $62 – the downswing is on the way!) and about $150 of that back in food comp, I’ve made worse investments.

This year it looks like I’m trying to prove whether it is actually possible to have too much of a good thing.

The trip to Las Vegas and Laughlin I just booked for June really isn’t necessary.  We just came back at the start of April, and it’s less than ten weeks until the summer trip.  So adding another week to the time I’ll be spending in Nevada this year is somewhat excessive.

It all started when I got this offer in the mail from Harrah’s Laughlin.

I completely disregarded it at first, along with a handful of other mailers they sent me that I figured I’d never use: two tickets to see Boz Scaggs in concert on May 17th; an invitation to a Golf Weekend May 23rd-25th; a Blues Brothers tribute show on 14th June.  This one – a free World Series of Poker satellite tournament – falls on the weekend of June 6th-9th.

Put them all together and that’s four offers in four weeks.  I’m about due another batch of American mail (it’s forwarded from my California mailing address every 3-4 weeks) so I’ll should soon get an idea of whether they have some kind of offer every single weekend, or if most Laughlin players had been waiting months for something, and then four came along at once.

As silly as it seems to fly half way across the world for the sake of a freeroll, I just kept on thinking of too many good reasons to be able to say no to this.

The value of the tournament is unknown, but it could be pretty good.  It’s a $25,000 prize pool with a $6,000 bonus drawing, so if they get 100 runners that’s a $310 entry for each one.

When I booked it, they told me 400 rooms were reserved for the promo so there could be 400 players, which would clearly be much worse but unless I’m being extremely naive I can’t see that happening.  This can’t be taking place in the poker room (it has a total of 8 tables) it’ll be out of the way in some meeting space, but even so it’s taking place during the WSOP and on a weekend.  Will they really ship in dozens of dealers from Las Vegas for a freeroll when they could be dealing tournaments or side games at the Rio?

However the major factor that got me considering this silly plan was my frequent flyer miles situation.  Yes, it’s a serious concern!  With my bargain business class flights coming up in July and returning in August, I was set to reach gold status on the return trip but taking this trip in June means I’ll actually make that status on the outbound jouney instead.

The big deal with this is that I’ve decided to try to retain gold status for the next ten years (which awards lifetime membership) and having the new status begin in July rather than August will make it much easier because of when our travel dates (determined by Claire’s school holidays) are likely to fall the next few years.  Sounds like a feeble excuse, I’m sure, but I’ve worked it all out and it does make a lot of sense to take one extra flight now to make sure the trips we’ll take regularly will be enough to re-qualify me for gold each year.

By the same logic, it’s actually going to be a easier for Claire to retain her own gold status if we take another trip in before Christmas, but the jury is still out on that one.  I’m rooting for Atlantic City in October, but I know that it’s a long shot.

Every set of dates I looked at came up with a US Airways flight that was much cheaper than any other airline (it cost £368 in the end, making me remember just how much we get shafted having to travel in school holidays).  US Air awards miles in the BMI Diamond Club so it was a perfect fit.

Additionally, the miles I’ll earn from this flight, and by getting the status upgrade early, are worth about £180 – that’s half the cost of the flight back!

I can also use this trip to get some extra play time at Harrah’s Laughlin to get a head start on retaining Total Rewards Diamond status for next year.  It’ll definitely help take the pressure off for the summer if I can get a few thousand tier credits racked up on the almost-positive video poker machine there.

The final justification to myself was that I had been thinking about going to Bristol for the Gala Tour later in June, which would have been an £880 buy in for 3 events, plus a fair chunk of cash to stay down there.  Accomodation is included with the Laughlin offer, and I have plenty of comps to be able to stay in Las Vegas without paying a penny the other nights, so in fact there’s not that much much in it overall.  Could I get to Bristol and stay there for four nights and get much change from £200?  I doubt it.

I’m not particularly bothered about playing a World Series event (the choice would be $2,000 No Limit, $1,500 six-handed or $1,500 shootout) but there are several other tournament series in town at the same time.  Golden Nugget, Binions, Caesars and Venetian all have their own tournaments in the $200-$500 range.

Once I’ve decided what I’ll actually play, I’ll probably be selling pieces of myself again.  If you fancy a solid, just-about-break-even investment, stay tuned.

By the way, I’m not knocking Bristol – I’ve never been, would quite like to, and was actually going to go there using my Virgin Traveller ticket until they lost the West Coast franchise – but it’s no contest when I can get to Vegas almost as easily.  OK, it takes about 12 hours longer, but I’ll just about live with that…